Dec 19, 2025 – Fleeting
My email inbox is waaaay overcrowded with junk mail, so much so that I often miss valid and important messages; so, yesterday, I skimmed through several days of emails. I came across something I hadn’t been consciously concerned about but that I realized had been lingering in my mind a bit.
Last spring, the hospital suggested that we bring hospice on board for my father and assured me that the “end of life” stigma, long-associated with hospice, was no longer the case. The nurse that visited us gave me a blue pamphlet written by Barbara Karnes RN. I eventually got on her mailing list and her email (from Dec 17th which contained her blog entry from the 16th) was the one I saw yesterday. The subject line drew me in: “Can a Dying Person Choose When to Die. What Caregivers Should Know.” Because of her many years of nursing, I assume this is not a new subject that she is covering, but if/when she has posted it in the months since my father’s death in April, I haven’t noticed it.
Yesterday, though, seeing it stirred up that lingering angst I’m still sort of carrying. I had heard several people’s stories over the years about being at the bedsides of dying loved ones, some wanting to be there at the end and some not. Of course, sometimes we can’t control that, but because my mother died alone (and I felt like I could have done more during that time), I wanted him to have company (me or other loved ones) ‘til the end. I had just come back from a nap down the hall when my sister said she thought he was gone; and, though I had known it could happen on anyone’s watch, I was washed with guilt, again, that I hadn’t been there. Not for yet another goodbye, but just because I love him and wanted….well, you can imagine….I just wanted to honor and comfort him. I did every time I was there to the best of my ability, but still….
Anyway, the blog was helpful in calming the emotions that it stirred up, but especially the last lines: “If you are with someone when they die, you are with them because they want you there. If you are not with someone when they die, even though you wanted and tried to be, that was their gift of protection to you. Yes, we have that much control.” My father protected me. My heavenly Father does too.
Prevail 353 – Revelation 1:17 – “When I saw him, I fell at his feet as if I were dead. But he laid his right hand on me and said, ‘Don’t be afraid! I am the First and the Last.’“ Larson writes, “John was worshipping in the Spirit when suddenly he heard a loud voice. He turned around and saw Jesus.” If that’s not comforting, I don’t know what is. Thank You Lord. Those last weeks, we prayed with and over my father and watched movies and sermons and played all kinds of comforting music (some from his era, some from movies, some worship songs) so there was a worshipful feeling there; and, he wasn’t alone, even at the end, because he turned and there was Jesus to lead him home.
Power – Zechariah 4:10 NLT – “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…..” Joyce writes, “Contentment is the ability to enjoy where you are while you are on the way to the fulfillment of your dreams. Don’t wait until you reach your destination to enjoy life. Life is more about the journey than the destination, and even when we do reach one destination, we usually begin a journey toward another. It is a tragedy to never enjoy our journeys in life. Each phase of the journey has something in it of value, and I encourage you not to miss any of it.” Tragic, fast deaths take the breath out of you, and rob you of the goodbye. Lingering deaths have a similar effect when the realization hits that the end of the earthly journey, which previously had no known end, is near.
JA – “The nature of time can make it difficult for you to enjoy your life. On rare days when everything is going well, your awareness that the ideal conditions are fleeting can dampen your enjoyment of them. Even the most delightful vacation must eventually come to an end. Seasons of life also come and go, despite your longing at times to ‘stop the clock’ and keep things just as they are. Do not look down on temporary pleasures, but do recognize their limitations – their inability to quench the thirst of your soul. Your search for lasting Joy will fail unless you make Me the ultimate goal of your quest. I will show you the way of life. In my presence is fullness of Joy.”
JC – “Do not be weighed down by the clutter in your life; lots of little chores to do sometime, in no particular order.” I tried to keep that in mind as I sat with my father while also managing everything to do with his care (and my own life). Most everything else could wait, while we waited with him. “Instead of trying to do all your chores at once, choose the ones that need to be done today…. Remember that your ultimate goal is living close to Me…. I can communicate with you most readily when your mind is uncluttered and turned toward Me…. Let My Presence bring order to your thoughts, infusing Peace into your entire being.”
Streams – Luke 21:13 – “This will result in your being witnesses to them.” Cowman writes, “Life is a steep climb, and it is always encouraging to have those ahead of us ‘call back’ and cheerfully summon us to higher ground. We all climbed together, so we should help one another. The mountain climbing of life is serious, but glorious, business; it takes strength and steadiness to reach the summit. And as our view becomes better as we gain altitude, and as we discover things of importance, we should ‘call back’ our encouragement to others.” Indeed that is what I try to do with my loved ones as I share what I’ve learned (whether they want to hear it or not!)
Utmost – Matthew 10:34 – “I came not to send peace, but a sword.” Chambers writes, “Never be sympathetic with the soul whose case makes you come to the conclusion that God is hard. God is more tender than we can conceive, and every now and again He gives us the chance of being the rugged one that He may be the tender One. If a man cannot get through to God this is because there is a secret thing he does not intend to give up – ‘I will admit I have done wrong, but I no more intend to give up that thing than fly.’ It is impossible to deal sympathetically with a case like that: we have to get right deep down to the root until there is antagonism and resentment against the message. People want the blessing of God, but they will not stand the thing that goes straight to the quick…. If God has had His way with you, your message as His servant is merciless insistence on the one line, cut down to the very root, otherwise there will be no healing. There must be a sense of need before your message is of any use…. Jesus Christ came to send a sword through every peace that is not based on a personal relationship to himself.”
