August 15, 2025 – Attitude

Power is entitled “Speaking Right Words.” I’ve been wondering about the blog and what I’m sharing and if it’s following what God seemed to lead me to do. I simply wanted to share the devotions and show how God weaves a message through them to me, but I wonder if I’ve shared more of me than I should…sort of like my father used to do as he wrote letters and would tell what he was thinking and doing and how he got there which had nothing to do with the point of the letter. I pray that what I share works with what God is speaking through me.

That’s as far as I got this morning even though I got up early for my time with God and for my devotions and for the 6am prayer service before going to the 9am appt with the retina specialist. I would really like to skip the blog today and use the latest retinal tear they found as the excuse because I know that would be understood; but, the real reason is that I feel a little defeated, and not because of my eye. I’m grateful that the doctor found this third tear which he said the er doctor likely couldn’t see last week due to the blood and debris in my eye (that wasn’t a very comforting thought) and that he could seal it up or whatever the laser does. He didn’t use the prod though; so, it didn’t hurt as bad (I said as bad) as last week. I would like to just hide out and not face what feels like wrong choices here and there, doubt about my abilities, embarrassment for missteps…. but that’s indeed what Satan would like me to do, I’m sure. So, I’ll write and let God try to work this out in me. You can read along or wait me out ‘til tomorrow when I’ve adjusted my attitude (that’s what I used to tell my kids to do when they were being whiny.) I’ll just pick up where I left off when I was transferring my journal notes to the blog earlier:

Guide my words today, Lord – and every day. Joyce writes, “When we understand the power of words and realize we can choose what we think and speak, our lives can be transformed.” She points out that if there’s something ahead in the day “that you’re not looking forward to, you can say, ‘I dread this day,’ or you can say, ‘God will give me strength today to do whatever I need to do and to do it with joy.’”  We are getting our eyes checked today by the retina specialist. If he pokes and pushes on my eye during the exam, God will give me strength to endure it.

Max – Proverbs 25:6 – “Do not exalt yourself in the king’s presence, and do not claim a place among his great men.” This makes me think of last night watching Don’s high school band director son on the stand on the field as he welcomed the crowd to the preview of what the show will be this year. He is clearly the head band director and is well-liked and respected, but when he introduced himself, he said, “I’m one of the band directors here….” The band was so great and I’m sure all the parents were proud of their children, but that line stood out to me as the highlight of the evening. “Happy are the unentitled! Expecting the applause of others is a fool’s enterprise!”  Don and I continue to be so grateful for the children God gave us to raise and enjoy throughout our lives.

Prevail 227 – Matthew 5:3 – “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.” Larson writes, “When we notice our limits…we have a place to go with those limits….If the enemy can’t get you to strive in your own strength, he’ll try to get you to despair over your lack of it….For every limit, God offers lavish grace and an endless landscape of kingdom territory just waiting to be apprehended.” I really could despair over some things, especially the clutter and indecision everywhere (yes, that again), but God (and Don) is patient as I aim to work through it all. Distractibility is, or can be, a real problem but God will guide me.

Utmost starts off asking about being born again. “All spiritual history must have a personal knowledge for its bedrock. To be born again means that I see Jesus.” I can only speak for and represent Don, at times, because I know him personally. I have a relationship with him. I’ve heard his views and opinions; so, I have a fair amount of confidence when I repeat them. That has grown over time of course. I didn’t know him well enough in the early days to speak for him. That’s like our faith journey. We will stay like baby Christians after we are born again if we don’t get to know our Savior personally so we can speak boldly for Him and trust Him to speak through us.

JC – What a good reminder this devotion is to “count it all joy” (James 1:2-4) – all day and all the time. “DO not let unexpected problems distract you from My Presence. Instead talk with Me about everything and watch confidently to see what I will do….Make Me your Refuge.”

Streams – Acts 14:22 – “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.” So umm, are You preparing me for something today, God, or is this just the theme for the day that You are weaving into the fabric of my character to make me ready as I face things in the future?  “Human nature seems to need suffering to make it fit to be a blessing to the world….you must be prepared to pay the price for a costly education – for like Christ, you must suffer. Frederick William Robertson”

Well, how about that. He was indeed preparing me, and not just for the additional tear they found. On the way to the appointment, I received what felt like an encouraging text from the wife of the man who wanted the van (and wrote me a check that I didn’t cash waiting for them to make their final decision); but, to make a long story short, this afternoon as I laid in the dark listening to my book and resting my eyes, she text’d saying they’d bought a newer van and needed to return mine. Oh that I could do that with the Tucson which I now feel guilty again for buying before I had this money in hand. There. I said it. I was going to just leave my lamenting rather obscure; but, sorry, that’s just not me most of the time.

Before the nap, I had some lunch while watching Joyce Meyer on TBN talking about “Why Prayer Isn’t Answered”. She brought up some interesting points that I want to go back and listen to but her closing thought was basically that when you ask, you have to believe it’s on the way even if you don’t see it. [I’m asking and believing that You have another solution for the van, someone else who needs it more than they did.] The other main thing I got out of it relates to a friend asking me to co-lead her small group this fall. I got her text as I was leaving the appointment this morning; and, though I said yes, I wondered if I should have because the things I’ve led so far in my life haven’t seemed well attended. (I could make a whiny list to prove it, but I won’t.)

[My father’s digital photo frame, that we kept in his room and took to every hospital and rehab room to keep him company, is sitting across from me. I still haven’t updated the photos from what we had for him; and, of all things, the photos just flashed on the screen of my sister and me in front of the van after we bought it. God, I just wonder about my choices. I think I pray and petition for Your guidance and it seems like things come along that are from You and then I doubt myself (and sorry, I doubt whether I heard from You. Am I just putting words in Your mouth when I proceed with things?) We barely got to use the van before Daddy died and now the sale has fallen through. I want to whine some more but I’m going to go back to Jesus Calling and say the words back to You: I won’t let unexpected problems distract me from Your Presence. I’m telling You what You already know happened and I’m watching confidently to see what You will do!]

Joyce was talking a bit about how she got into ministry (which I’ve heard before but always am glad to be reminded of – especially today). She said Jesus wasn’t “qualified” either (except that He is God’s Son, but I went with what she was saying because He was indeed human and I guess had to learn things, and faith, like we do). He didn’t go off someplace official to learn. He studied scripture and He sat at the feet of other teachers and God – so did Joyce – and so have I. An in-law family member told her once that she is different when she steps on the stage and she said, “That’s the anointing.” 

If God asks us to do something, He will equip us and that’s basically what the women on “Better Together” (today’s episode: “The Impact of a Healed Life”) talked about when that show came on after Joyce’s. Blynda Lane told about how her small group leader, years ago, asked her to take over their group when she had something come up unexpectedly in her life. She said yes, to the leader and to God, but over the rest of the season the group went from 25 to 3 attending. Can you imagine?! How defeating! She talked about the rejection and the embarrassment and I was cringing while I was listening thinking I just said yes to co-leading. Isn’t Satan just the worst how he tries to slip in on what we are hearing and twist the words. I think he was trying to distract me with the “what ifs” so I wouldn’t hear what Blynda then shared about how God redeemed this and what He told her He was working out in her. He reminded her He told her to just say yes and trust Him with the rest.

One of the women said you must surrender to God and not get stuck by a setback. [I’m listening] Laurie Crouch at one point said, “Go for it and see what God will do for you.” Another woman (I wish I’d written everyone’s names down, but I was trying to keep my eyes closed and didn’t want to squint at the screen too much but I wish I had because it is very difficult to find these episodes online later – that was a Daddy-type interruption that I should backspace out, but, I guess like father like daughter…sorry, still with me?), who seemed like she might be a Christian counselor, pointed out that human beings want to know WHY. They want explanations for what happens to them which leads most of us to rush to assign meanings when God seems slow in helping us through something (I’m thinking of my new car right now and the whys and meanings in earlier blogs…..hmmm).

She said we have to make sure to check if the why answers we come up with are congruent with the character of God.  She pointed out that we should wait for God’s actual answer, rather than potentially making one up, no matter how long the wait seems, even if the why is never fully revealed. One of the women pointed out that when the blind man in John 9:25 was asked about his healing, he didn’t really know that answer and he didn’t put words in Jesus’ mouth, he just said, “I know one thing: I was blind, but now I see.” My intentions were never to make anything up or put words in Your mouth, Lord. If I did, please forgive me. If I didn’t, please remind me of the lesson You tried to teach me that I’m having to repeat in this version of a pit I got into this afternoon.

This week the “Better Together” show has been about healing the body, mind, and spirit and they pointed out that we have one life and one body so we each have to be careful what we put in our body, mind, and spirit.   Laurie Crouch took us back to Joseph’s words, “You meant it for harm…” as she pointed out how we could answer the whys with “But God”.  One of them ended the show by telling the viewers, “Don’t be ashamed of your broken places. God can use everything. We have to tell our story because it could help someone else.” So, there it is……and ya know, I feel better. God multiplied my time this morning leading me through the readings to have them waiting for me this afternoon to help me adjust my attitude. Thank You for Your “lavish grace”, Lord.

(Note: God did give me strength to endure the laser today. He also gave me friends and family who prayed for me – and for the doctor to be gentle!)