August 26, 2025 – Waiting
Sitting in the surgery waiting area of George Washington University Hospital waiting on word about Carrie’s ankle surgery. We are approaching hour 3.
Satan is such a conniving abuser. He lets us get comfortable and then delivers an insidious blow that threatens our security (and sanity). And his timing is always the worst! That happened to me last night. I was so unsettled that I had tears in my eyes (that wouldn’t flow) and a lump in my throat. It was the kind of pain I would have typically wallowed in and wondered about far longer than was healthy. When I think about how many times I’ve suffered like that, I picture God just sit there watching, with peace in His outstretched hand perplexed as to why I don’t reach out for it.
I text’d Don and my small group (my real friends not my devotion book friends) and asked for prayer covering. Something familiar in me wanted to whine and complain, but something else in me knew there was a better way to get through this so I sought some input from my devotion book friend, Oswald Chambers and decided to read today’s Utmost entry last night since I thought I might not get to it before going to the hospital this morning.
The title, “Are You Even Disturbed?” almost made the tears really fall as I realized that God was there with me ready to speak and walk me through these moments. John 14:27 – “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you.” Peace was what I needed more than anything else and He knew it. Thank You God.
I want to write out the whole devotion, but these are the lines that ministered to me the most last night as I read. “There are times when our peace is based on ignorance, but when we awaken to the facts of life, inner peace is impossible unless it is received from Jesus….Are you painfully disturbed just now….are you still finding no well of peace or joy or comfort ? [what I wrote last night was NO, I feel no peace, Lord, I feel sorrow and oppression] Then look up and receive the undisturbedness of the Lord Jesus [it was tempting to ignore that and stay pitiful but since the directive was right there staring me in the face I knew I had to take the mature path and keep asking for and receiving His peace]….Are you looking unto Jesus now, in the immediate matter that is pressing, and receiving from him peace? [Lord, I want to cry – I want Your peace but I’m just so sad]….But if you try to worry it out, you obliterate Him and deserve all you get. [now if that doesn’t get a person’s attention, I don’t know what will] We get disturbed because we have not been considering Him….Lay it all out before Him and in the face of difficulty, bereavement…hear Him say, ‘Let not your heart be troubled.’ “
Before I put down the pen and turned out the light, I made myself write, “I’m trying, Lord. I consider it joy to be afflicted like this so I will be a better, less hypocritical, comfort to someone down the road. Be with me. Help me Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
The sun came out this morning and there was healing and relationship restoral where there was strife last night and it felt as if nothing had ever happened. Now that indeed is the power of friends praying and God covering us when we reach out to Him! I was able to read Power before we left for the hospital which was interestingly entitled, “Level Your Ups and Downs.” Wow – that is indeed what I tried to do last night even though I wanted to pout and feel anguished. Though I had tears at the ready, I never did cry. I felt like Cameron Diaz’s character, in “The Holiday” movie, who couldn’t cry.
Today’s verse is what I tried to do before I turned out the light even though I was still sad.
2 Corinthians 5:7 – “We live by faith, not by sight.”
Joyce writes, “Feelings change from day to day, [indeed they thankfully do!] hour to hour, sometimes even moment to moment….they can deceive….Instead of riding the emotional roller coaster…we need to become stable, solid, steadfast, persevering, determined people [in other words MATURE]….In the world we see then we believe, but in God’s kingdom we believe and then we see.” Though I went to sleep sad last night, I still believed the sun would come up and waited for God to work everything out for my good.
(Note: The doctor just came out to tell us everything went well! Let the recovery begin!)
